we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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