Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize