Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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