They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
