Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
