I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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