if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
