I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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