How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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