do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize