hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
