so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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