so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
