im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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