You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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