I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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