I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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