Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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