That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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