I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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