he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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