Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
