matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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