trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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