nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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