Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
