your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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