You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
