2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
