this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
