a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
