Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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