So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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