Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
