I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just pynch a tree in the face
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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