I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
