Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
