Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
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My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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