i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize