I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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