She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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