He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
