Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The Olympian is in my bed
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
