i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
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I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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