you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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