omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
