Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
