Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think people are normalizing furries
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
