Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize