so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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