drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
