idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I fill condoms, not promises.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
