Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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