physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
