Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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