My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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