he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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