Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
