it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize