i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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