new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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