i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
